Glen Of Scotland

Late storm

We had another later winter snowstorm this week, love the variety of weather here!

Susan Boyle 2

After the initial television performance and video posting on you tube, Susan as you probably know was all over the different news channels all over the world. More was learned about her past that led up this point and there are lessons for everyone from her journey.

Susan had mild brain damage at birth and was a slow learner in school which resulted in her being the target of name calling and bullying. The lesson here is many people don't do well in school for a variety of reasons and still can have success in life. As far as those bullies, though this doesn't help in the moment, where are they now? I'm sure we can do a better job of helping children deal with bullies, unfortunately a lot of what we say now is all about the don't do instead of the do. More on that in the future.

Susan had entered other talent television shows and had been rejected on all of them prior to this one, she had a tape made using all her savings at the time and that had been rejected too. Yet this did not deter her, she kept singing and was on a charity cd, and sang in the church choir. There was a delay while she was looking after her mother and dealing of the grief afterwards.

The lesson here is, we all face rejection at times and many give up as a result of that. Most things don't work out the first time especially something like singing, just step back when you feel the need to and then move forward again when you are ready. Just don't give up, you know if this is your talent, your true friends will be honest with you, the locals all knew Susan had a great voice, I just don't think they were willing to take the risk in pushing her forward. Importantly, don't give up your dreams, how appropriate the song is "I dreamed a dream".

Keep the dreams alive, allow yourself to dream, things change quickly especially in this digital age and there is a huge market for average, everyday looking people too.

Susan Boyle

At the time of writing there has been over100 million viewings of the various Susan Boyle videos on you tube, in a week. I know that many people view the 7 minute video several times so there is no way to determine at this point the number of people who watch. One thing is clear she is a global sensation that has connected with more people than any one and has offered more hope than any politician or stimulus package ever could. 

People have asked what happened here, so I will cover as best I can my interpretation of this based on just the initial video and then later in the week with the information that has been learned since the video which is also quite important. 

The timing of this can be no accident, there is  currently a (temporary) global economic downturn and a huge mass of people are feeling down and low on the hope scale. Susan herself is unemployed and as a result of this will become very wealthy and certainly has more hope than she did before last week.  

She was also at the beginning of the video subjected to a lot of judgment and mocking from the audience and judges. Every one of us has at some point been on the both ends of  that, though perhaps not in front of such a big crowd and I feel we connected with that. Let’s be honest we judge and in this case we have been conditioned to expect that singers or musicians are supposed to be young, very good looking and very different from the average person. In our minds this creates a gap when along Susan comes, older and very average and it does not match what we have been conditioned to expect so we automatically judge it as bad or wrong. 

I feel we also connect with Susan as the majority of the population is average in looks and appearance and the minority is the category  of very attractive. 

Then I feel, like  the audience, we make a turn when she starts too sing, the talent is obvious, we are on her side as we all like an underdog to do well no matter what the situation is.  We also deep down don’t enjoy seeing someone picked on, well at least it’s not us being picked on in this moment.  

Many people have been moved to tears or get the chills by the end of the video, this I feel is a result of a deep connection with our own past experiences and also our deep desire for people to do well. Also a connection with an inner truth and knowing that we have a talent each and every one of us, which may not be as public as Susan’s. Yet most of that talent is not realized as others judge us, we give up to easily as a result of that or other reasons.  

Package all that together it’s not surprising that now people are saying “yes I can do this” it is possible and some will keep going as a result. 

Each and everyone of us on this planet have at least one talent and now we have an example that even against all odds it’s possible to accomplish what we want, to share it with others and to contribute. Not everyone will be a singer and not everyone will use their talent in  such a public way, that does not lessen or separate you from others it makes you one of the average looking everyday humans that dominate the planet. 

You also have evidence how quickly things can change, which is why I love the timing of all of this. Great opportunities are appearing, will you allow your talent to shine and take advantage, to participate, to share and to grow?

Mind games 3

Here is another excerpt:

"There's an old saying in baseball: When you think, you stink. The best players don't get in their own way. So what causes the mind to turn on a player? It can be a traumatic event, such as striking out with the game on the line or an embarrassing error.

A meltdown can be caused by external pressure. Noted psychologist Harvey Dorfman tells the story of a pitcher who wanted to stop pitching the moment he won 17 games because he didn't want to deal with the expectations of being a 20-game winner."

In the real world, people tend to think too much, as the quote states when you think you stink. Thinking brings stagnancy, doubt and so many stories that most people are embarrassed to even mention them. You have no control over others and what others think, so do things for yourself today and let tomorrow take care of its self, if others create expectations on your behalf, then that is their business and again you have no control over that.

You do have control over what you do and what you think and there is no one on the planet that has not made a mistake. In sports those mistakes tend to be in the public eye, for most though mistakes are exposed to a smaller number of people, who you have no control over.

You can make a mistake and move on, head held high, or you can let it consume you and shrink to the size of a mouse. You will likely experience a better time with your held high than you will the size of a mouse.

Mind games 2

Another quote from the baseball article is:

"For me, the game is 90 percent mental, 10 percent physical," Texas Rangers manager Ron Washington said. "There's so many times you don't succeed. The good ones don't concern themselves with that."

"You have to get rid of the numbers sometimes because you let those dictate a lot of emotional issues," Rockies manager Clint Hurdle said. "But some guys get consumed."

How can a player keep faith when he slumps? The best advice successful major- leaguers offer: Find a mental routine that works and trust yourself, much like a golfer with a preshot routine. 

"The whole game revolves around trust. Pitchers have to trust their ability to make a pitch in a certain spot, and hitters have to trust that their hands are going to be able to get there," veteran outfielder Scott Podsednik said. "There's no pill in a bottle for that."

"Consequently, struggling players seek answers from everywhere. That often prolongs a skid".

These suggestions apply in the real world too, for example find a mental routine is just the same as finding a routine for yourself when something comes up and throws you off. It could be going to the beach, or just thinking of going to the beach, anything that works for you is good.

Note too that struggling players seek answers from anywhere, out in the real world, humans do this too, they ask around seeking answers from anyone and everyone and it not only prolongs the situation it usually makes it bigger and worse.

What I have found when people seek answers everywhere, is that they already know what is going on or what to do and are only interested in hearing that. If the first person they ask is in agreement with that, then the response is ah yes, I knew that was it. Then they will ask again to leave no doubt, usually this is where someone has a different suggestion comes along and creates the doubt. It continues from there until people hear what they want to hear and then take the action.

Like the struggling players, it would be better to relax, ask as few people as possible as few questions as possible and then you will hear the answers more easily and quickly.

Mind games

The baseball season has started again and the Denver Post had a couple of great articles about the mental part of the game. There are several quotes here that are useful for the non baseball people:

"Ronn Svetich, the Rockies' mental skills coach, is a sounding board, if not a lighthouse, for the Rockies. He talks to players one-on-one, from the stars to the prospects, trying in many cases to undo what they've been taught by their parents and coaches. From a young age, we are taught what not to do, as opposed to what to do, he said"

This is something that is heard every day no matter where you are, don't do this, or don't do that, clearly it's better to say to people when this happens or you feel this, then do this or consider doing this. To do this will take a lot of practice, I would recommend concentrating on one thing and getting really good at it, then applying it to different situations after that.

For example, if you are trying to save money or showing others how to save money, you might find yourself saying don't waste money on this, don't be late paying that, don't forget to do this, don't forget this is important. Turn those things around to allow yourself 5% for non essential spending, take 10% and put it into savings as soon as you get your paycheck, pay bills at least 3 days before due etc can you feel the difference?

Earth Movie

To coincide with earth day, Disney has a new movie called earth which will be at your local movie theatre April 22nd 2009. You can watch the preview here, it looks good.

Keep hope

Joel Osteen who preaches to a world wide audience in the millions gave an interview with the Wall Street Journal, I liked the following excerpt, you can read the full interview here.

"I asked him, if a positive disposition is supposed to bring you success, how should you interpret it if you're failing economically? Do hard times flow from grumpy dispositions?

"People in tough times -- it doesn't mean they don't have a great attitude," Mr. Osteen told me at The Wall Street Journal's office after scoping out Yankee Stadium where he will preach on April 25. "All through the scripture there's people like Joseph [who] was treated so unfairly [and] spent 13 years in prison for something he didn't do. But he kept that good attitude, and in the end, he saw God's blessing and favor. I wouldn't ever say if you're having tough times then there must be something wrong with you or your attitude. Life's a fight. It's a good fight of faith. I encourage people to stay up, stay hopeful, stay faith-filled."

Never judge a book by it's cover

Or in this case a person by their looks. In another example of someone who has defied the bullies, the skeptics, and those who are quick to judge, a 47 year old Scottish spinster,melted the hearts of a country with her singing. If you watch the video clip in the beginning, you will notice the audience and judges either laughing or somewhat mocking her. Yet she stayed in her power and sang as she knew how to sing.

This is happening more and more and people are learning that it doesn't matter what others think, I'm just going to do this. You may not have the best body or looks, it doesn't matter if you know you can do it, just do it. You can read more about Susan Boyle here

Update- this has turned into a worldwide sensation the video can be viewed directly here

Happy Easter

Conversations

I often hear comments from others how difficult it can be to steer a negative complaining conversation around to something more positive. It just takes practice and a commitment not to engage the other person in the conversation. Usually someone will say something that is a complaint and try and draw you in, you don’t have to be drawn in and can have a better conversation as a result.

I was on a flight home recently and was sitting next to a lady who tried very diligently to draw me in to a complaining conversation. During our trip away, there was a snow storm forecasted to drop 10 inches of snow back home. I knew from the news that a weather front prevented the big storm and we received just a dusting of snow.

The lady asked me if I knew how bad the storm was, I replied it wasn’t bad just a dusting, I sensed she knew this already, she was just engaging in conversation which was nice. Then she said in reply, I am so tired of the snow, this was the moment to either reply, yes I’m tired of it too and swap snow stories. I didn’t, I replied how I felt it had been such a mild winter and how I enjoyed the recent 70 degree weather. She tried again to engage me, she replied that the last big snow storm was still on the ground in some parts. I replied that it’s spring and summer is around the corner and does she have any summer vacation plans. That did the trick, she said the family was going to visit relatives in Reno, and how much they were looking forward to it. Then we moved on to her favorite places in Colorado and then found out she was a nurse too.

This was a much better conversation than swapping war stories about snow storms, as I was pretty sure she had a few horror stories to tell, and that wasn’t going to feel very uplifting.

You can follow the same technique and enjoy the conversations with others and not have them drag your energy down. It can take a while to recover from that, this way you are refreshed and you may learn something new too.

Things that help

Over the past year I have invested in various products that make my life easier. Of course I could manage without them, I actually did before, so then why bother? It adds  another level of ease for me and with that ease I'm feeling even better than before, a higher level of feeling better if you like.

It's much like having a great experience and thinking this is as good as it gets, only to discover later that it can actually get better, as a new experience actually topped that one from before.

That's been the case with my navigational system, before the ease of going to mapquest and printing out directions was a big step forward, that replaced carrying a big map and stopping to see how I was doing. Mapquest was more ease than the map book, even with both I still managed to get off track from time to time.

Now with the navigational system I plug in the address and a voice gives me turn by turn directions on where to go. It's much easier than before and I'm sure much like I thought mapquest was as good as it gets, this navigational system will be replaced by something even better and easier.

In the mean time I really appreciate how much more ease it is getting around different cities.

Easier

We recently had a huge spring snowstorm here in Colorado, 20 inches locally, it was a beautiful sight and much needed as it had been dry.

The day after the storm, I was driving to lunch, the highway was clear for the most part. Those other parts were treacherous and drivers were going too fast for the conditions and I observed a couple of accidents. It didn't look much better on the other side of the highway and I wanted to have more ease for the drive back.

My choice was to drive back on the highway or take the side roads which I felt would not be exposed to blowing snow. One choice   would be shorter, the other a little longer, I chose to take the longer route and I found that the roads were clear and dry.

It was much easier this way, no worries about accidents, it was free flowing and I saw parts of town I wasn't used to seeing. More importantly in making a choice that felt easier, I also felt good and relaxed, why is that important to me? Having experienced stress before and what that does, I would not now choose to have stressful moments when I can have it so much easier and better.

Sometimes though  we are not making conscious choices, rather choices from habit or conditioning, that can change though if we are willing to get deliberate about feeling good. 

Quote

"You cannot worry about someone and love them at the same time. Most people mistake the emotion of worry for the emotion of love. They think that worrying about somebody means that you love them".

Abraham

Quote

"Keep your thoughts positive because your thoughts become your words. Keep your words positive because your words become your behaviors. Keep your behaviors positive because your behaviors become your habits. Keep your habits positive because your habits become your values. Keep your values positive because your values become your destiny".
Gandhi