Glen Of Scotland

What you can't control

Currently here in Denver, the NFL football team is creating national headlines in what has become known as Tebowmania.

Tim Tebow is the current quarterback and he doesn't seem to be respected by media commentators and analysts as well as it would appear the management here in Denver too. His critics focus on his throwing, how his passes seem to not hit their target on a regular basis. It is claimed by many that he is not an NFL quarterback despite his success in college.

There is just one problem, he is winning, most often it's not pretty to watch most of the game, but when it comes down to the last few minutes things change, passes are thrown better, points are scored seemingly magical things happen. Hence the term Tebowmania.

I watched a recent interview Tebow gave and he was asked about all the critics and he replied that he learned early on, don't worry about what you can't control and concentrate on what you can control. He mentioned for him what he can control, his attitude, effort, and focus, I'm sure there are more things that he didn't mention in the interview.

He has a strong faith in Jesus and he uses that as a source of inspiration too.

What is the lesson in all of this especially if you are not a sports fan? It's the message about what you can't control and what you can  control. Most people in the everyday world get caught up in what they can't control and would have much better success if they focused on what they can  control.

If you are having issues with someone or something, ask yourself do I have any control over this? Usually the answer will be no, so then ask yourself what do I have control over in this situation, use the above example to help if you like and concentrate on that.

Happy Thanksgiving

I would like to wish you a very Happy Thanksgiving and hope you are having fun, laughing and feeling good.

I hope these stories help you feel good, the first story is about a mother and her daughter and a miracle. They say there is no explanation for it, read the story here and decide for yourself.

The next story comes in video form, this will help you feel good and you can view it here.

The follow up to the video above is here and you won't want to miss it, you can view it here.

Some people worry about the future, with kids like these growing up and many more like them, you really should consider getting excited about the future.

It's the holidays

This week is the start of the holiday season with Thanksgiving here in the USA. For many these are still challenging times and even for those with money some of them have been facing challenges that wealth brings them. Seems like it takes a lot of people are unhappy no matter, just remember though more people are happy than are unhappy.

Many people believe, especially at this time of year that gifts and things will make them happy and if they don't get the gift they wanted it makes them unhappy. Even if they get the gift it doesn't take long for that happiness to wear off. If you don't believe me, what did you get last Christmas? How do you feel about having it now, still as happy? Can you remember in great detail a family trip to the beach or mountains?

There have been numerous studies on happiness and many of them report that the lasting pleasure comes from experiences rather than things. Perhaps as you approach the holidays this year, you might want to take that into consideration.

If things are not going well for you, then it doesn't mean you can't enjoy the holidays. It might involve you being willing to receive a little charity that so many are willing to offer. Many places offer a holiday meal for free, it might take a little research in your area to find places, there are food stamps which close to 49 million people are receiving, most cities have food banks and there are often turkey giveaways too.

By making some different choices it is possible to have some joy this holiday season. No matter how bad things are, it's important to nourish your soul and your mind. If you can feel better for one day, it will give you hope to you can feel better another day too and then you get some momentum going.

Focus on what you have, even if it's the ability to breathe easily and walk easily, a great many don't have that.

 

Wild Flower Capital 2

Wildflowers, well I have to say this was better than anything I had seen in the wilds so far, bright colorful,inspiring it all felt and looked good.

So now you are getting what you want

We all want something or someone in our lives, how does it feel when we get it? Are you happy and at peace?

I suppose the answer would depend on how we got what we wanted. Did it happen easily or did it take quite a while? Are you comfortable in getting something that happens easily? or if it comes too easily does it mean something is wrong? Are you willing to trust someone who easily loves you or gives you a gift or a raise or a promotion?

I would hazard a guess, okay not so much of a guess based on some experiences with clients and others, that if we are honest, the answer is no to a few of those questions. Many people are uncomfortable, suspicious, and uneasy when things happen easily. It was not the struggle and turmoil, fight or roller coaster ride of emotions that they thought they would have to experience to get this prized possession, person or thing in their lives.

If you have those beliefs and thoughts, then you are feeling at a minimum uncomfortable and certainly not enjoying the experience, some may go as far as to sabotage  whatever they have accomplished. Then repeat the cycle many times over with different people and things.

What then should someone be aware of if this pattern is going on. The first thing I would examine is whether or not you feel, or whether those in your life, past or present feel you are worthy or deserving of what it is you want. The odds are very high there is an aspect of this going on, if you feel suspicious or uncomfortable when things happen quickly or easily.

To address this head on, it's best to prove to yourself that you are worthy and deserving by listing all the reasons why you are and ignoring all the reasons why you are not. I know pretty bold and no it's not being in denial as the reasons you have been told by others and yourself you are not worthy are not even true, or if they are true, then they are only partially true. The dominant truth is you are worthy and deserving.

The second thing I would examine are your doubts and fears, it's highly likely as you examine your doubts and fears it will be very similar to what you have been telling yourself for years as to why you are not worthy and deserving. The other aspect here will be failure or the fear of failure. What if you are wrong, what if it doesn't work, in those situations to be blunt, so what? If you are wrong or it doesn't work, you will have new information to work with, no one can possibly get it right all of the time. There is no punishment as there was a child at home or at school, you are an adult now and have more control and you are emotionally better developed as an adult to handle failure or getting it wrong.

If you are willing to address just those two areas, this will allow you to handle receiving things that you want whether it comes quickly or not, allowing you to be more relaxed and comfortable with it instead of trying to find fault with it or trying to sabotage it.

Wild Flower Capital

The wild flower capital of Colorado is Crested Butte, I had a couple of glorious days out there in the summer. I was probably a week early for the peak flowers, still it was very beautiful, almost like Switzerland.

Between the snow melt and all the rain, the colors were bright and lots of green, very stimulating.

An enjoyable hike to Judd falls, life is good.

Filters

If you have a water filter, it's normally used to keep dirt etc out of the water you  drink to give you somewhat of an assurance that you have good water to drink. Your fear is that dirt or other things will get in your water and make you sick.

The mind has a filter too, let's say for whatever reason you need to have your spouse, male or female around most of the time. When your spouse says they have to work late, then your fear is they won't be around, your filter activates as you figure out how long they will be away for and what that means for you. Perhaps they are going to the store, or on a business trip, or to a sports game, or to a class there are many reasons why someone is not around.

As time goes by and the more often this happens, and let's face it, there are very often couples where they both work these days, the more this filter is activated and when it is you are constantly taking score of how much less time you have with each other. In other words you have become fixated on how much time you are apart, or how much this person is not available.

Does this sound familiar? Have you noticed how it seems to get worse as time goes by?

What if you were to take away the filter or the fixation and instead became focused or fixated on the time you have together?

An interesting thing happens when people are willing to do this, they recognize that they actually spend quite a bit of time together and in time they actually spend even more time together. After this is noticeable, when asked if the time together they originally thought should be spent together was reasonable, it became clear that it wasn't.

In fact one person admitted that they had expected the spouse to spend all of their time togther, which was neither reasonable or realistic, not to mention suffocating.

Free of the filter, emotions and stress levels improve. The thing is, we have many, many filters going on at the same time for different things, so tackle the easiest one first if you want to experiment.

How do you know if you have a filter, that's easy, what are you complaining to your friends about or to your spouse? Odds are high you have a filter going on about these topics!

Bierstadt Lake

Bierstadt Lake, also at the Rocky National Park, another beautiful day in Colorado.

 

Dragon flies basking in the sun